Obstacles to Communication: COOFs

Clichés, Overused words & phrases, Obscenities & Fillers

by Maureen Merrill

Clichés

At the end of the day, if you want to be happy as a clam in hog heaven, avoid clichés like the plague.

Overused or meaningless words and phrases:

• Incredible / incredibly - It means "not believable" - not "very" or "amazingly good/bad"
• "I go, he went, she's all, they were like . . ." for: told, thought, asked, wondered (aloud or silently), shouted, whispered, responded, complained, guessed, advised, ordered, expressed, commanded, directed, instructed, informed, griped, described, stated, elaborated, explained . . . or: said.
• Dawg - species confusion at best, and so 2005
• Perfect storm - Mis-used to describe almost any coincidence
• Decimate - Actual meaning: "reduced by one-tenth"; doesn't mean "annihilate"
• It is what it is - Well, yeah, otherwise it wouldn't be what it is. Circumlocution implying no-thought-required acceptance of the status quo.
• At the end of the day . . . What day?
• An accident that didn't have to happen. Some do have to happen?
• Limousine expressions on bicycle outings, e.g.:
• • "ongoing processes of substantial increases in personnel" Do you mean, General Petraeus, "more soldiers"?
  • "community of learners" . . . Also known as a "school."

Obscenities

Properly aimed and well-placed, "dirty words" are, on rare occasions, effective. But 99.9% of the time, they merely pollute the social environment.

F-words, s-words, a-words. Instead of "That film was f---ing great," or "f---ing terrible", try: entertaining / dark and thought-provoking / fabulous and weird / inspired, original and haunting / an affront to the senses / a creative disaster / hilarious / an abominable embarrassment to all filmmaking / or: great / terrible.

Sucks. A bit of thought about the origin of this word (which once meant something done through a straw or to a popsicle) should invite you to reconsider its safe use in public.

In doubt? Consider whether you would be charmed to hear it from a 5-year-old.

Fillers

• "Like" . . . If you like fill in like a lot with the "like" word; it's, like, maddening.
• "You know / y'know" . . . If I already know, you don't need t'tell me.
• "Um" "Uh" "And . . ." . . . Pause, instead.
• "Sort of, kind of . . ." . . . Waters down your message. If you do mean "approximately" or "possibly", say that.
• "No, yeah . . ." to begin a comment. Alternatively, "Yeah, no . . ."

On the other side of the obstacles . . .

As with any endeavor in which you want to excel, hurdle-free self-expression takes attention and practice. To increase your communication confidence:

1. Listen closely and actively. Be there.
2. Speak for, and directly to, your audience or listener.
3. Practice choosing expressive words and phrases.
4. Support your message with eye contact, body language and personal appearance, because people "listen" visually as well as with their ears.